There’s no gold medal in the stress Olympics – here’s how to start resting

Every new year – after the holiday glut of travel, parties, shopping and baked goods – there can be pressure to do and be more: more active, more productive, more creative, more thrifty. Maybe this will be the year I finally start meal planning or doing morning pages. New year, new me!

But what if the thing we needed more of was to do less? What if this was the year we finally learned to rest?

“We all involuntarily participate in the stress Olympics, and are aware that the busiest person wins gold,” says Amelia Nagoski, co-author of Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle.

In a culture that glamorizes hard work, sacrifice and the grind, rest is often seen as self-indulgent and lazy, Nagoski says.

Not only does this attitude leave us worn out, it’s counterproductive. “Rest is what helps us function at our highest level of capacity,” says Dr Saundra Dalton-Smith, a physician and author of Sacred Rest. Although many people are accustomed to pushing through feelings of tiredness, doing so generally results in a lower quality of work.

So why not start this year more energized and less depleted? Here’s how to start resting.

What is rest?

“Rest is anything that gives you more energy,” says Nagoski.

This doesn’t necessarily mean a cessation of activities, she adds: “Sometimes, it’s just doing different things.”

Indeed, the most restorative rest is often more active than passive, argues Alex Soojung-Kim Pang, author of Rest: Why You Get More Done When You Work Less.

“That’s not to say there’s anything wrong with sitting on the couch with a bag of salty snacks in one hand and the TV remote in another,” he says. “But the things that deliver the biggest restorative bang for your buck are things like going for a walk, spending time in nature or exercising.”

What are the biggest obstacles to rest?

If a twisted scientist were to sit down and invent a society designed to de-legitimize rest, it would look a lot like ours, says Pang.

“We all come with decades of cultural programming that tells us that in order to succeed, we have to spend enormous amounts of time at work,” he says.

There is another, more personal obstacle: many people don’t know what kind of rest they need. As we’ll see below, there are many ways to catch a break.

Take rest seriously

So you’re finally open to throwing off the yoke of overwork. But how does one actually incorporate more rest into their lives? If you’ve read this far, that’s a good start. “If you’re asking this question, you’re taking rest seriously,” says Pang. “That’s the first thing you’ve got to do.”

Look at how you work

If you are in a job that allows you to have some control over your schedule, Pang suggests combining periods of deep, focused work – 90 minutes to two hours – with breaks of about half an hour. The break could be running errands, going for a walk or having lunch – anything that’s not work.

If your job does not have a predictable schedule, Pang recommends better preserving nights and weekends. He points to studies that show that people who have better boundaries between work and non-work time are more likely to have longer, happier careers.

Think about what kind of rest you need

When she worked in a hospital ICU, Dalton-Smith said she got eight hours of sleep a night, but still felt exhausted most days. Eventually, she realized the rest she needed was emotional, because the amount of energy required to appear calm in the face of horrible situations was leaving her depleted.

Drawing on Dalton-Smith’s work, the American Psychological Association put together examples of how to practice the seven types of rest:

• Physical rest: making sure you get enough sleep; taking naps.

• Mental rest: journaling; meditating; doing tasks that are not mentally taxing, like puzzles.

• Emotional rest: talking through feelings and experiences with a friend or therapist.

• Social rest: setting aside time alone to recharge; making sure you’re spending time with people who don’t leave you feeling drained.

• Sensory rest: spending time outdoors; taking breaks from screens.

• Creative rest: engaging in creative hobbies like drawing, reading or dancing.

• Spiritual rest: connecting to a cause or tradition that feels meaningful to you.

Enlist others for help

Perhaps the most important and effective way to incorporate more rest into your life is to recruit other people in your efforts.

Nagoski explains that she and her twin sister, sex educator and researcher Emily Nagoski, were inspired to write Burnout together after Amelia ended up in an emergency room with stress-induced illness. “My sister drove two-and-a-half hours to the hospital and fed me a big stack of journal articles about rest and the importance of overcoming burnout,” Nagoski says.

Experts agree this kind of care and support – reminding loved ones that their wellbeing is more important than work – is essential to pushing back against a culture of overwork.

“All these external pressures to sacrifice and give everything you have to give – it’s like a rushing river,” Nagoski says. “If you try to stand against it alone, you’re going to get washed away really fast. But if you surround yourself with people who care about your wellbeing as much as you care about theirs, you can all stand together, and that’s the only way to resist the river.”