Twitch star QTCinderella says she wishes she never started streaming

The popular Twitch streamer QTCinderella says she would be a "happier person" if she could go back and tell her younger self to choose a different career.

The 31-year-old, real name Blaire (she does not make her second name public), became famous for playing video games and cooking meals in live videos for her 1.2 million followers online.

In 2021 she created the annual Streamer Awards, which will be streamed online on Saturday.

But she told the BBC while she felt "incredibly lucky" to be in her position, the negatives of the role - ranging from being under constant scrutiny to at times being concerned for her safety - makes it difficult to enjoy.

"If I could go back and never experience some of the things I've experienced because of this job, I do think I would be a happier person overall," she said.

"The biggest thing I wish I could do, if I went back and was able to whisper in my ear, I would say, don't do it."

Throughout 2025, several female content creators have spoken out about concerns of their safety, particularly when attending public events.

In March, three US Twitch streamers, Cinna, Valkyrae and Emiru, were taking part in a week-long marathon stream when a man threatened to kill them.

Then, at the annual streamer event TwitchCon in October, a man from the crowd grabbed Emiru and tried to kiss her without her consent.

While her personal security were able to intervene, she accused the on-site security team of not detaining him until hours after the event - something Twitch refuted in a statement.

Harassment - or the threat of it - is an issue which Blaire says she has also had to face since her rise in popularity online.

"I could open my Instagram DMs right now and read you 100 horrible things about why or how I could be harmed by people," she said.

In 2021, Blaire said she spent over $2,000 (£1,500) every month to have heavily edited photos of her removed from the internet.

Then in January 2023, she discovered a deepfake website was using a likeness of her in pornographic material, alongside other popular female streamers.

Now, she said despite opening a craft shop in Los Angeles earlier this year, it's rare she ever visits - because of men turning up to the shop and asking for her.

"I thought it'd be fun," she said.

"Unfortunately, it's gotten to the point where I can't go there because we've had men show up looking for me.

"I don't want it to be unsafe for my employees."

Blaire said she thought security at the Streamer Awards would be "aggressive" in comparison to other events, as she hopes to help the attendees from the streaming world feel as safe as possible.

The ceremony recognises top creators across various categories like Gamer of the Year and Best Community, while this year's Streamer of the Year nominees includes the most-followed Twitch streamer with 20 million followers, Kai Cenat.

A mix of 70% fan votes and 30% industry panellists decide the winners.

In November, Blaire faced accusations from viewers claiming certain popular streamers were blocked from particular categories for being too "problematic" - which she denied.

Clips of the streamer tearfully replying to criticisms of the event soon spread online.

"I think I need to respond less", she said.

"But as a human, you just want to be understood".

The constant ebb and flow of streamer "drama" which many content creators like Blaire experience is one of the reasons she finds the job tough - but she said it was also why she started the awards.

"For me, it's really important to bring people together, because I do think there's lots of toxicity on the internet," she said.

"And if people were just able to have a dinner together or reach across the board, it makes a big difference.

"For one night of the year, the negativity is silent".